Trent is finished with chemo! No more 6 day stays in the hospital. No more nights sleeping alone for either of us, although I never really sleep alone because Gavin. But for Trent, no more. No more well-meaning strangers barging in any and all hours of the day with no more than a haphazard knock-warning. No more repeating to every doctor who’s on-call his story over and over and over again when it’s right there in the chart. No more take out (he’ll miss this one). No more tiny hospital tv so. Far. Away. No more carafate! No more I.V. pump BEEPING! Holding his arm above his head just so the chemo will run. No more sharing a bed with God knows who. No more feeling like he’s missing everything. We might see a whole lot more of Gavin and a whole lot less of Kevin, who is Gavin’s alter
ego and mysteriously appears when his father is not with him. The girls don’t have to pretend anymore. I don’t have to feel torn in 3 different directions, split between home, hospital and work, constantly feeling like I’m not giving enough to someone or something.
What we do face is Trent possibly being the sickest he’s been thus far. So far, that’s the track we’re on, but damn, he’s tough and he fights it so hard. No hair. Anywhere. His eyebrows are pretty stubborn, but is is likely a losing battle. Lots of bathroom humor and some business that’s not so funny. Scans. CT, PET, heart ect. Hoping, but never verbalizing, that said scans will benevolently give us more time. The unknown. We just don’t know. How long, what to expect, how will it happen, how to act, how to tell anyone. How to tell the kids.
Things that we can control. How we treat each other. How we spend our time. How many trips we’ll take. How many hikes, fishing and camping trips we can get in. How much time we can spend with friends that we love like family. How much good food we can make and EAT. How much fun we’ll have at Sabrinna’s graduation party, the boys birthdays’, IN SUMMERRRR🎶🎶⛄How much we laugh. How much we love.
Cancer is so strange. As much as it’s horrible, and it is, it’s also this black nasty little amazing gift. It has given us the ability to discern the necessary from the insanely stupid and excessive. These are the Things that matter (according to Gibson Party of 6, plus 1):
Your relationship with our Creator
Finding joy in the little things
Tiny toddler laughs and tears
Triumphs and failures of teenagers
Dog vaccines on the back porch
Tears with a good friend
A good nurse
Stinky cute baby feet
A 13 year old head on your shoulder
Support from friends
Support from strangers
A good night’s sleep
Making love of any kind
Family of any relation, not just blood
Saying thank you
Memories – making and keeping
Love of any kind
As always, thank you. The above list is not exhaustive. We’re adding to it everyday.
Posted by Adrienne Gibson
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