Trent, Meet Radiation

Trent started radiation this week. He’s receiving this treatment in conjunction with a chemotherapy drug that is supposed to work symbiotically with radiation. Fun, right? We’ve been preparing for this stage for some time, but it is still unbelievable. Expecially when I think about this happening to my husband and not someone that I used to know, or a friend. It’s my life partner and he’s so strong. He hates it when we compliment him like that because he feels he has no choice but to be strong. He thinks he is no hero because he makes mistakes everyday. But that’s what makes him strong and that’s what makes him a hero. He knows he is weak and that his strength is not his own. It’s his Faith that makes him whole, that gives him the strength to do one more day. I am so happy that I get to do life with this gift and I’m so proud of him for sharing this part of him with you. 

A word from a wise man:

So I’m sitting at a traffic light and a tear rolls down my cheek because of the irony in that I’m sitting here and I am upset because I’m late for an appointment to have a machine shoot deadly radiation into my body. Lol, it’s ok laugh! It’s really kinda ridiculous. The things we worry about. What’s most important to you right now? What things make your emotions rise up so much that your body just automatically has a release…a tear. Maybe that’s what it’s all about. Shedding those tears. Letting go of your discomforts and letting things happen in your life the way they’re supposed to. Stop trying to control everything. Let God do what He does. 

So, now I’m sitting here waiting to go in (back for radiation) and they are running behind by 3 patients scheduled after me, so I’m 4th. They’re running behind because a hospitalized patient had to come down. Who’s got worse problems? I drove myself here. I may have gone to the wrong place 1st and then ran into a weird Mopac train, u-turn, crappy road signs of Austin and whatever else I was feeling. But, in a minute I will go back and I will take some pictures of what it looks like in the “vault”. It’s quite the experience. While I’m laying there and it zaps me I think “take that, take that!” I’m going to fight this damn disease. Fight it hard. It’s not easy, but what in life is? I’d be conquering the shit outta something else anyway.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far. I’m not trying to be philosophical or pass some message. I just felt like sharing a peice of my mind. It says “Tell a story”. This is a piece of my story. May you have peace in your life and God bless you and if you are enjoying Friday night have one for me. Peace.

T

The control panel. It’s like the USS Enterprise
The door to radiation. Caution all ye who enter here.
I have one of these. And there are like 50 in this room. Each one belongs to a person just like me who is also on this crazy ride.
 
The radiation shooter/ct scanner. Technology.

Me. Kicking cancer’s ass.

Life


 I really don’t have much to say today. He’s sick. Some days are better than others. The girls have been really helpful to me lately. Thank you to Betty, Ashley and Lisa for pitching in with the kids this week while we’ve taken care of some things. It was really good to see my F-I-L today, too. We’ve had some pretty good medical service experiences this week. Our nurse navigator, Lorie, is forever coming through for us, thank God. Trent has slept a lot this week. The pain takes the Mickey right out of him. I’m glad he’s resting, but I can’t help but feel like we’re moving into a different phase in all of this. That realization hurts a little. With this realization has also come some real straight talk about what life might look like for the kids and I in the future. As hard as those talks are they need to be had, and it gives me comfort knowing what Trent wants for us. I haven’t been able to beat the boys out of bed this week, but it’s been ok. I’m getting my workouts in when and where I can – yoga Monday, my house – join us.😊 It feels good to know that even though I’ve handed all of this over to Him, I can still control what I eat and how I treat my body – and things are coming along nicely, I must say.
ButiYoga, ladies. Your welcome. If nothing else, listen to her talk about the milkshake. It will change your midsection instantly. 

I think these pictures are ridiculous, that’s why they suck.🤓 You get the idea. I’m smaller. Here’s proof.

I did miss a doctor’s appointment last week and I need to take care of a couple of things for Lily, but other than that things are ok. Other than, you know, the Thing. But we’re staying prayed up and close to each other. That combination makes all the difference for us, as you can imagine. Gavin understands a lot more than he used to and we’re looking into a emotional support dog for Lily. Coley is totally Coley – blowing us away at every turn. Sabrinna is growing up before my eyes and it’s a beautiful thing. 

We had a really great girls’ night Friday, complete with chocolate cake memes and swam very nearly without incident Saturday night. Thank you to all of our lovely hosts. I’m finding myself drawing closer to people I wouldn’t have imagined being close to a few years back, and I like it…a lot. He knows what I need and who can give it to me. I’m so thankful for that. I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching and it feels like such a contradiction, but I know who I am better now than I ever have. Funny. I mean, it makes sense and it seems like a high price to pay to “know one’s self” but the ease that I am beginning to feel in my own skin is invaluable. I wish it wouldn’t have taken this long, but such is life. Talk about growing up. Jeez. 

Anyways, thank you to all of you who really get your hands dirty with us. It ain’t easy, but we so appreciate it. Take a yoga class if you get a free hour, or even better – make time. Watch less tv and listen to more music. Always keep a song in your heart. Snuggle up if you got ’em!

Oh yeah – buy a stinkin’ Gibson t-shirt! ❤️🙌🏾 

 

T-Shirt Bug

I’ve been bitten again and I love it!  I’m about to reopen the TeeSpring storefront (the fundraiser I use that helps me to be creative, spread our message and support my family a the same time) and I’m excited.  So excited in fact that I couldn’t pair down the description that is to be shown along with the new designs. Oh, hey!  I have a blog.  Here’s the premise:

We hear from people who have been inspired to make serious life changes because of the strength that we appear to have in the face of serious adversity.

We have two things to say about this:

1.  The strength is not ours, but our Lord’s.  Thank God for His grace because it sustains through all things! And that grace and strength is for you as well.

2. The message that we have to share is simple: Do Good. Don’t Quit.
Galatians 6:9 says “Do not grow weary in doing good for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”  Do as much good as you can, for as long as you can and the blessings you will receive will be immeasurable, but the blessing is in the doing – not the receiving.  If I do my good works, guess what the harvest is? You! Amazing!
We all know we are living in dark times, but we can fight it. This is not a drill, people! Make it happen. If someone asks, tell them what #DoGoodDon’tQuit is all about. Live the message, I dare you. Look around – there is a lot that can be done. If you’re a social media person tag us in your adventures!
#GP6 or #DoGoodDon’tQuit
Love,
A

Pardon This Interruption 

Pardon this interruption from your normally scheduled program. I realize this is normally not the subject matter on which I put pen to paper, but I’ve been struggling so long for the words. Our hearts are so heavy and burdened with the state of our country. I read something this morning that a dear friend of mine wrote. She’s a pen pal of sorts (for lack of a better term) seeing as we were only actually in each other’s presence for less than two weeks. Anne and I played volleyball together on a USAA volleyball team trip years ago and never lost touch. She is the world’s best GoT spoiler, giving me the 411 when I need it – she never holds out on me. She knows the right thing to be say at the right time and I’m so thankful to have her in my life. Damn, Annie. Back at it again with the good words. Yes to all of it. And more LOVE. 

So read if you like or move on if your tired of it – it doesn’t make any of it less true.  

If you think in Baton Rouge, St. Paul, and now Dallas that those shot “got what they deserved”…you perpetuate the problem. 

If you think that a rap sheet warrants death…you perpetuate the problem. 

If you think that being a white cop warrants death…you perpetuate the problem.

If you think that all cops are bad…you perpetuate the problem.

If you think that all black men are thugs…you perpetuate the problem.

If you think that being pro-black means being anti-police, or that being pro-police means being anti-black (I borrowed from you, Trevor Noah)…you perpetuate the problem.

If you swallow, without question, the information provided to you about these events by your favorite media outlets…you perpetuate the problem.

If you see and hear statistics about police shootings and don’t even, for just a tiny second, stop and think, “Well, maybe there IS an issue…”…you perpetuate the problem.

If your initial response to said statistics is, “Yeah, but…”…you perpetuate the problem.

If you fail to TRY to understand how the mothers of the victims must be feeling right now…you perpetuate the problem.

If you fail to TRY to understand how the wives and husbands of the police officers must be feeling right now…you perpetuate the problem.

If you continue to make blanket statements about police officers…you perpetuate the problem.

If you continue to make blanket statements about black people…you perpetuate the problem.

If you teach your children to react violently when they feel threatened…you perpetuate the problem.

If your automatic response to the hashtag #blacklivesmatter is outrage that people aren’t saying #alllivesmatter…you perpetuate the problem.

If you can’t take a moment to TRY to understand why there is outrage in all of this…you perpetuate the problem.

If, after the events of the last few days, you’re not at least a little bit terrified…you perpetuate the problem.

If THIS POST riles you up, but the shootings themselves did not…you perpetuate the problem.

If you act violently during a peaceful protest…you perpetuate the problem.

If you keep your children from hearing or learning about these events…you perpetuate the problem.

If you remain silent…you perpetuate the problem.

If you do nothing…you perpetuate the problem.
We have a problem. And most of us can sympathize with the sentiment of “not knowing how to help.” But I beg of you, at the very least, STOP perpetuating the problem.

Anne Gunden – July 2016