I was sequestered.
And the reasons and purpose behind this modified isolation from the familiarity of that which I hold dear is being revealed to me in Divine timing, and spades.
It was placed in my heart that I would not be able to read, take in, or understand the written works of many for nearly 4 years. Why does this matter – what significance does this play in my life? I’m a writer, in my spirit, a philosopher by nature, a thinker, with a degree in English Literature – once a teacher of the written word to young people as a profession.
I love words and to have them taken from to a degree, was incredibly painful.
After the death of my husband my ability to write was all but taken from me. I was forced into a spiritual corner – sequestered – taking in only that which God deemed important for me to mull. For sometime I was deeply disturbed and bothered by my inability to communicate via writing and to receive information via reading. And try as I might, I could not find the attention, focus or concentration needed to take in information, which for my entire life up until about 2 years ago came so easily to me.
After much questioning and deliberation through prayer – and only receiving one consistent answer from God, “I want to show you things aside from what can be gained from books so that you will KNOW in your spirit and body what I have to teach you is true. Have faith. I have told you before, all that you have lost will be returned to you.”
So, I took a deep breath and trusted that what I deemed to be my greatest gift would be returned to me, and I surrendered.
Fasting often does not pertain simply to the removal of food or water from daily intake into the body. Fasting is extended to all that which is to be consumed – and I quickly learned that this extended not only to books and written word limited to that which was “ok’d” by Spirit, but also people. I had to distance and even cut myself off from what I had up until this point viewed as the most special and important teachers, and relationships, of my life without much explanation to those I was to remove myself from other than that I knew I had something very important coming through me from God which deserved both reverence and attention, and I was not to take in the information produced by peers, whom I loved and respected deeply. Again, I was reminded in my spirit that what He had to show me and what I to learn in my body through Holy Spirit needed purification through some measure of solitude and I was to trust that those on the receiving end of the lack of my presence would understand, in Spirit, the greater purpose and those who did not would necessarily fall away.
And that seems to be exactly how things have played out.
What I have received over that last two years has transformed my life into my own existence as it was originally intended. The confirmation of who I am in Christ and what purpose I serve on behalf of Yeshua and His teaching flows relentlessly like raging Holy water – blood – through my veins. The simplicity is not lost on me. “The words are dead, Adrienne. Please seek to allow comprehension, adherence and resonance in the Body.” In my body to the larger Body.
God is funny, yes?
All has been returned to me and then some, as what was shown to me during this time of relative quiet is revealed to me to be true not only in philosophy of mind and knowledge in body, but in alignment of Spirit with the truest and most relevant and important teachings of Yeshua that have been hidden from us since they were shared with the apostles directly during His materialized Earthly walk.
“You need to read Jesus and The Essenes. You need to know about the Essenes.” B said to me back at the onset of my walk. “I know it’s true, but in a little bit,” as I was already feeling the pull to go inside and away from so much in my life, but needing to adhere to the process that was beset before me, gaining trust and courage, beginning to so no to much and many. Understanding that there would be lack of understanding as to the whys of my choices, while – through my faith knowing all would be revealed in time and better than I could every imagine – as is The Way.
I am thankful, and humbled, to have my system washed clean in the way that it has been, in order to be used in the way I was meant to, sent to be used. My sight and knowing is like nothing I could dream of, but also reminiscent of a time when being in flow and true alignment of the Living Word was commonplace for me.
This is not a time of awakening – the awakening in itself seemingly useful for a short time, unsustainable without deeper application and comprehension. No, awakening is subtly false.
This is a Time of Revelation, of Remembrance.
And so it continues.