This is my baby son. He’s a gift. He is a true cancer – hard shell, super soft center, all the feelings, all the water, born 7/7. If there was a Break Method victory I would most want to celebrate, it is him.
He was trapped in his shell for about 2 years after his father passed – fearful of everything, running – literally, away from it all, away from me. After a particularly harrowing experience with him (see terrible) in desperation I asked a very good friend’s son who was 5 at the time what I should do with Coley?? And he said when we was having a hard time when he was little it was because he just needed more love. Ooof. That broke me – but I set my resolve to do just that, love him more.
I wanted to know this kid inside and out, observe him in situations, mentally record his reactions to people, situations, me – in an effort to love him more. To love him, that particular kid, better. I limited time with some people/family that was not conducive to his growth and encouraged time with others who really saw him. In spite of judgement from those closest to me I trusted my parental intuition in all things Cole-related and maintained boundaries on his behalf. I used to cringe at emails from school with Cole in the subject line – and last week I got one that praised him for his handling of a difficult situation and I see/feel true joy in him. ✨
More love – real love that forces us to look at our part in parenting, relationships, communication and requires us to take responsibility for our choices, our actions and their affects on everything in our lives. And in taking responsibility making real change, transformation in most cases.
Cole Bear is not perfect, but he is trying, he is succeeding and he is loved and I am so proud.